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Company Launches World’s First P*ssy Flavored Chips For Millennials
Company Launches World’s First P*ssy Flavored Chips So Millennials Can Get Laid More
It’s the perfect gift for millennials who lack a lot of “Lays.” If they can’t get it in the sack, they can get it in the snack. A chip company that purports to cater to sex-starved 30-somethings boasts a new flavor that supposedly tastes like a woman’s vajayjay.
“After tasting it, you will remember your wildest love adventures, your first real love, and maybe even lose your oral virginity,” reps for Chazz, the Lithuania-based creators of the private-parroting potato chips, claim on their site.
Dubbed “p—y-flavored potato chips,” the kinky creations are inspired by a purported generation-wide s*x drought among millennials, who allegedly prefer perusing social media to getting saucy in the sack.
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“According to several past years research data around the world, millennials are having 3 times less sex than their parents at the same age,” Chazz claimed of Generation Y’s alleged involuntary celibacy trend, per Jam Press. “It is unbelievable that someone is choosing social media instead of live communication, dating and real s*x.”
This comes despite recent studies showing that millennials have better, freakier sex than previous generations.
Nonetheless, Chazz wanted to replicate sex in snack form for millennials, like an X-rated version of Willy Wonka’s Three Course Dinner Chewing Gum. The chip bags, which run around $9 each, are even emblazoned with the slogan “lose your virginity with Chazz.”
In order to condense the sexperience into 2-D chip form, Chazz reportedly “selected the five bravest and most experienced team members (boys and girls)” and sent them on individual missions to gather the most private part-approximating flavors.
Chazz then whittled down the resultant dozens of samples into a few that best approximated the flavor of love. Finally, the fast food firm adjusted the ingredient levels to “reflect this taste as close as possible,” per the site. Voila, millennials could allegedly finally lose their V-card culinarily.
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